Leno's funny lines

FROM KEITH GROLLER

I was busy watching the end of the Cowboys and Redskins game and monitoring perhaps the most fatal of many late-inning losses this season by my agonizing Cardinals, but Jay Leno got off a few good lines on "The Tonight Show."

Sports Business Daily recapped Leno's monologue and among the sports-related items were:

"On Saturday, President Obama and Bill Clinton played golf together. You know what you get if you cross Bill Clinton with Barack Obama? Tiger Woods. … That huge six-ton satellite finally fell out of the sky over the weekend. NASA predicted it would most likely land in a desolate, unpopulated area, you know, like Dodger Stadium. … Speaking of that, Wrigley Field in Chicago was just cited by health inspectors for numerous food violations. They found sausages that were kept at the wrong temperature, and workers touching the food with dirty hands. Isn't that amazing? Just think, all these years Cubs fans just assumed it was the Cubs that was making them sick. … Police in Cincinnati last week raided the home of Bengals wide receiver Jerome Simpson and seized 8.5 pounds of marijuana. I knew the Bengals preferred to play on grass, but I really had no idea it was that evident. … They're calling it the most embarrassing thing that happened to the Bengals since yesterday's game. … As you know, the Bengals are the only team in the league that have three uniforms: Home, road and prison."

http://blogs.mcall.com/groller/2011/09/lenos-funny-lines.html